Crazy Week and Many Blessings

Well, it's been one absolutely crazy, insane week. I'm just so glad to be alive. I'm so glad to be with my family, to feel their kisses on my cheeks, to hear their laughter, and everything about them. I've learned that I'm not in charge and who I need to put my trust in. Life is so fragile so make the most of everyday and every minute you have.

I've always enjoyed health my whole life. I rarely got sick as a child and I've never had any problems. The last few years I've enjoyed better health then ever. I've had plenty of energy from morning until night. I've been able to do anything I've set my mind to do. I've always attributed my health to eating right and living a healthy life style. Boy have I been humbled. It all started when Patrick and I felt like we needed to have another child (long story). We got pregnant in November (I'm two months along) and to my surprise I got very sick with morning sickness all day and extreme fatigue. I had to take several naps a day and had a hard time eating or drinking anything. Christmas and News years passed and all I wanted to do was sleep. On Monday night the 5th I had something happen to me. We didn't know what it was then but now we think it was a blood clot in my lungs. Patrick called the ambulance and after a while they felt like I was fine. I just assumed it has something to do with my morning sickness. I felt better each day. On Thursday, I started getting a pain in my leg until Thursday night it was unbearable. We went to the Instacare in the morning and he told us that he thought it was a blood clot in my leg. WHAT!! Me a blood clot! It was so hard to take. I think I cried more times last week then I have in the last 10 years. We went in for a ultrasound and found a huge blood clot starting at my groin and going down to my mid calf. By this time my whole leg was all swollen and purple and I was in terrible pain. They told me I would have to be on a blood thinner for the whole pregnancy.. A DRUG!! That was against everything I believed!! They said it was perfectly safe for the baby. It's hard for me to believe that. How can you be injected with drugs going through your whole body and not have it affect the baby. Patrick told me that if I was gone then the baby couldn't live either. I guess I had no choice. They sent the health care nurses to my house to show Patrick how to give me the shots, take a blood sample, and a stool sample, and to tell me what I need to be doing over the next week. I just looked at the nurse (I hadn't got any straight answers yet) and asked her if I was going to die. She said that if I followed everything they said that I would be okay. It was a relief. The first four days were critical. I couldn't do anything. After that your body isolates the clot and the risk is very low for the clot to break off and cause problems. Patrick gave me a blessing on Monday and Friday and felt peace that I'd be okay. I had a harder time feeling that peace. I was just so scared. I had some spiritual experiences with this little spirit in my tummy and I know this baby needs to come to out family. On Monday this week we went to the doctor and got to hear the babies heart beat. It was so sweet. I needed good news. The doctor said I could start walking on my leg instead of the crutches this week. My leg is healing fast. The pain is almost gone and I'm getting around well. Mostly, I have to rest. It's driving me crazy to sit around. I don't know that I've ever done that in my life. Patrick is working at home until I can function without him. He's been so good and I'm so blessed to have him around. This has been really hard on him. We're searching for the person we want to deliver our baby. Then they can help me through this. I want to go to the midwives but they may need their doctor to back them up. I don't know. I really wanted to do a home birth this time.

I'm starting to get my morning sickness under control by eating every hour or two. I've had more energy and have not been so tired. I'm getting use to the horrid shots that I have to get two times a day. I'm needle phobic so it's been really hard. I haven't talk to the doctor about long term car because my other doctor said I needed to be under the care of the person delivering my baby. I have appointments for next week. I need to decide soon.

Thanks to all those who have showed us kindness and love. There are so many of you and I know I'm doing better because of your prayers and love and the priesthood power. Thanks!! I love you all and am so blessed to have friends and family like you.